


help me, I'm drowning in myself

by Quagswagging



Series: Quag's Pack Verse [1]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fights, Gen, M/M, Pack Dynamics, Pack Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:54:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26700223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quagswagging/pseuds/Quagswagging
Summary: “Max, you’re not part of my Pack anymore.” Kimi said.
Relationships: Kimi Räikkönen & Max Verstappen
Series: Quag's Pack Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757020
Comments: 18
Kudos: 160





	help me, I'm drowning in myself

**Author's Note:**

> I talked about this idea a long time ago already, and today I actually wrote it!
> 
> Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think!

Kimi had expected Max to be a problem when he heard the boy was coming up to F1. 

Max barely had any experience in F2, be it on track or as Pack, and Kimi had instinctively felt the young Omega was a bomb waiting to explode.

And he wasn’t wrong.

At first, everything seemed fine. Max kept to himself and was barely in the Pack room at all, opting to stay with his dad in a hotel most of the time. But around the move to Red Bull, the boy - Kimi could not see him as a _man_ no matter how much Max tried to be all grown up and strong - started frequenting the Pack Room more often. The Pack was happy for the youngster when he got his first win, but Max was distant and did not allow any of the Pack members to congratulate him. 

Max had asked Kimi permission for his dad to enter the Pack Room that day, but Kimi had declined, not liking the pushy Alpha. Max had seemed somewhat relieved about it, but had then still tensed and snapped at Kimi, before storming off again to continue his celebrations with his father.

Most of the Pack wasn't sure how to act around the young Dutchman. Max was unpredictable and distant, quietly sitting on one of the sofas one minute, and then suddenly snapping and snarling at one of the other drivers barely a second after. Kimi had to spend more and more time interfering in whatever fights Max was causing. 

It was tiring, Kimi was getting too old for this shit.

~~~

Max bared his teeth as he entered the Pack Room. They were in Monaco, the race just finished, and Max had just gotten back from a loud speech from Christian after Max had crashed with Romain. After that, Max's dad had yelled at him too and Max could still feel Jos's painful grip on his shoulder - which would surely leave a bruise. 

Other drivers looked up when Max came in, but no one seemed happy to see the young Dutchman. Felipe turned to mutter something to Valtteri, the Finn humming and sighing. Max snarled at the Brazilian Beta, stomping over to the other side of the room, where Romain was talking to some of the other guys. 

"Don't fucking blame me for it all!" Max snarled at the Frenchman. Romain calmly looked up, raising an eyebrow. 

"It was your fault." He said with a shrug. Some of the Pack's Alphas had wandered over now, Nico Hülkenberg talking to Max in gentle Dutch while Marcus Ericsson stayed nearby, seeming on edge. Max bared his teeth again, making to lash out for Romain, but Nico's arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him back.

"Don't be silly." Nico huffed shortly, eyes briefly flashing. Max shrunk into himself for a moment, the Alpha's touch seeming to scare him, but then the fire came back to his eyes and he frantically made to punch Nico. 

"Stop that!" A booming voice called out. Everyone stilled now, Max even seeming to forget how to breathe as he slowly turned his head, seeing Kimi storming over to them. Nico let go of Max and stepped back, the Omega hissing in a mixture of fright and anger as Kimi grabbed his shoulder instead.

"We do not fight Pack." Kimi said, brow furrowed. Max bared his teeth at him and slammed his hand away.

"He did me wrong!" Max hissed. Kimi shook his head.

"No. And even if he had, we do not hit Pack." The Alpha answered sharply. Max's hands trembled where the Omega clenched at his sides. 

"You don't care about me, you're not Pack." Max snarled, making to swipe at Kimi now. Kimi had clearly not anticipated the punch, and huffed when Max’s hand collided with his cheek. Max tensed as Kimi’s grip tensed, the Pack Alpha silently stepping away. Max’s hand had left a red print on Kimi’s cheek, and even though it must hurt, Kimi’s face showed no emotion. 

The Pack got restless now, obviously ready to protect their Alpha while also not wanting to hurt such a young Omega. Some of the Alphas sided with Kimi and even though Max was shaking, he still lifted his head in a defiant gesture, not apologising. 

“I want you to leave, Max.” Kimi said in a low voice. “You only cause havoc, and you clearly don’t want to be here.” he added. Max opened his mouth to speak but Kimi held up a hand to silence him.

“Max, you’re not part of my Pack anymore.” Kimi said.

Silence fell over the room now, everyone turning to look at Max.

“Fine, see if I care.” Max snapped, grabbing his coat and storming out of the building, the door slamming shut behind him.

That night, Daniel heard harsh crying when he passed the Toro Rosso garage, but before he could investigate, Jos slammed him back and told him to get lost.

Daniel never did forget the scent of the terrified Omega in the building, but there was nothing he could do.

~~~~

“Stop crying!” Jos snapped at Max as he came into Max’s room. Max hiccuped, wiping at his cheeks in a desperate attempt to get rid of the tears. Jos reached out for his son’s shoulder, pulling him closer so they were face to face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you.” he snarled. Max drew in a shaky breath.

“T-they threw me out, the Pack doesn’t want me anymore.” he choked out, more tears coming to his eyes. Jos eyed him for a moment but then smiled.

“I am proud of you.” he said. Max blinked.

“Wh-” he wanted to say, but Jos held his hand up, silencing him.

“I’m proud of you, Max.” he repeated. “You don’t need those assholes, you are better than them. They will never be your friends, Pack is a lie.” he hissed.

“But dad-” Max whined. Jos tightened his grip on Max’s shoulder.

“It was required for you to be part of the Pack when you started F1, but now you got kicked out, it’s much better. You just need to rely on me and your engineers. You need no one else.” Jos said. “This is better for your carreer.” he added, and for the first time in years, Jos pressed a kiss to the top of Max’s head.

It didn’t make Max feel any better, it only made him more sick to his stomach.

He had liked Pack, had felt safe being safe being away from his dad, but now even that last safety net had fallen away.

Max tried to make a nest as best he could that night, not asking for more blankets as his dad would yell at him again. He curled up around his pillow, clutching him close as if it was another human being.

And he cried, cried all night long until he finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion.

~~~~~~

The weeks after that, Max refused to look anyone in the eye at the races. Even Daniel, who had previously somewhat starting to break through the Dutchman’s angry exterior, had been pushed out again, the young Omega keeping to himself at all times.

Jos kept telling Max he had done the right thing, that Max leaving the toxic environment of the Pack had made him _proud_ , and Max kept telling himself his dad was right.

But he wasn’t sure if that was the case.

He didn’t go to the Pack room for the remainder of the season, and still didn’t try to make amends after the winter break. His driving only became more aggressive and the other drivers only got more critical, and it was just a downward spiral.

“He is a danger, Kimi!” Lewis huffed, the British Omega anxiously tugging at the corner of the pillow on his lap. Kimi sighed.

“There is nothing I can do, he isn’t Pack anymore.” Kimi sighed. Sebastian sighed and gently nuzzled close to Lewis to comfort him.

“Someone needs to talk to him. He is hiding his scent now too, he is wearing a lot of aftershave but he smells so sad under it, Kimi.” Sebastian said softly. Kimi tiredly reached out to scratch the back of Seb’s neck to calm him down.

“I cannot approach him if he does not want me too, his father is even more unpredictable than I am and I can’t fight him.” Kimi muttered. 

“I can try to talk to him? Between sessions?” Daniel asked, the younger Alpha sitting down on the floor next to them and leaning back into Kimi’s legs. Kimi gently patted the Aussie’s curls a little, smiling slightly when Daniel rumbled happily.

“If he will let you close, then please do. He needs a Pack, if was wrong to send him away.” Kimi muttered. Lewis gave him a curious look.

“But he caused so much trouble.” the Brit said. Kimi shrugged.

“Yes, but I think he just doesn’t know what Pack is.” the Alpha muttered thoughtfully. “How could he, if he has a father like that?” 

~~~~

Max felt like he was fading away, as if a part of him was missing. If he didn’t have a job to do, didn’t have races to win, he would surely never get out of bed again. His instincts were screaming at him to go back to the Pack, to beg them for forgiveness and show them what a good Omega he could be, but he didn’t know if they’d take him back - and that thought terrified him. 

He missed the Pack, missed the feeling of safety even if he had never known how to behave. It hurt him when Daniel came to say goodbye after a race, the two of them heading out of the hospitality. But whereas Max would go back to his hotel by himself, Daniel was heading for the Pack room for some post-race cuddles.

Max let out a whimper despite himself.

“Max?” Daniel asked curiously, turning when he heard the soft noise. Max averted his eyes. He heard the Alpha walk over to him and quickly stepped back before the Alpha could touch him. 

All he could think about was the pain from the day the Pack rejected him, from the way he had hidden away in his hotel room until his dad had come in, shaking him and yelling at Max until Max had quieted down. 

Max might have pretended to be unbothered by the rejection from the Pack, but it had hurt him so, _so_ much. He had never had many friends, had never been part of any Pack but his family, and he had been so angry at himself for ruining his chance at his all.

“Come to the Pack room with me.” Daniel tried softly. Max fervently shook his head.

“They don’t want me.” he whimpered. “Kimi hates me.” he added. Daniel sighed, rumbling low in his chest, and Max mistook it for anger. 

He hissed in fright, grabbing his suitcase and making a run for it, leaving a very confused Daniel behind.

~~~~~~~~

The moment Max stepped out of the car after the Belgian Grand Prix, he was instantly on edge. The race had been a shit show, Max driving recklessly and crashing into Kimi twice, as well as touching Sebastian and Checo. It left him with pain and anxiety in his stomach, and Max desperately tried to keep away from the other drivers, hiding in his driver room and waiting for hours until he was hopeful that everyone had left.

But, when he headed out of the driver room, hoodie pulled up over his head and backpack clutched to his chest, he ran straight into a group of drivers carrying pizza boxes in direction of the Pack room. 

“Max.” Daniel said, recognising the hooded figure and consequently drawing more attention to him. Max nodded, making to push through the group. He tripped over someone’s foot and fell against Kimi’s chest, the Alpha steadying him. Max let out a frightened sound and instantly pulled back, stumbling away from Kimi so hurriedly he tripped again and fell flat on his ass. 

The group of drivers crowded around him now, hands patting at him to help him up, but Max didn’t understand. 

“Don’t hurt me!” He gasped out, blindly flinging his arms around to fend them off. He curled into himself once he no longer felt anyone’s hands on him, whimpering as he brought his arms up over his head. His breathing was ragged, harsh growls and soft whimpers still leaving his throat as he waited for everyone to leave. He cried out when a gentle hand stroked over his head, but a second hand on his shoulder kept him from pulling away.

“Ssh, we’re not going to hurt you.” Kimi spoke up, continuing to gently stroke Max’s hair as Daniel helped the Dutchman sit up. Max was tense, ready to flee the moment they would let go of him. 

“Please don’t-” Max sobbed out, tears spilling over his cheeks as he didn’t dare move. Daniel shuffled closer, taking Max’s hand.

“You hurt yourself, sweetheart.” the Aussie muttered, looking at the Dutchman’s scraped palm. Max sniffled and tried to pull his hand away, still not trusting them. 

“Max, it’s okay.” Kevin whispered, the Omega kneeling down and holding out his sweater, gently rubbing the fabric against Max’s cheek a little. Max sniffled, but then nuzzled into the fabric, closing his eyes. 

It smelled just like the Pack room, safe and warm and _happy_.

Some of the tension left his body and Max slowly dared to look up at Kevin.

“I understand Pack can be scary, but it will be okay. You’ll get used to it, I did as well.” Kevin muttered, blushing lightly. Max saw Nico reach out to gently stroke Kevin’s hair, the Omega sighing and leaning back into him a little more.

“I’m not Pack anymore.” Max whispered, lowering his eyes to hide his tears. Kimi reached out to gently tilt his head back up again.

“I was wrong to send you away, Max.” the Pack Alpha said softly. “We never helped you get settled. This is partially the Pack’s mistake, partially _my_ mistake.” he admitted. Max furrowed his brows. 

“But I-I hit you…” Max whispered. Kimi sighed.

“Yes, but it was because you were scared and upset.” Kimi told him softly. “I shouldn’t have kicked you out. In fact, we would love to have you back in the Pack. We would take good care of you.” Kimi muttered. Max stayed silent, looking up at Kimi with wide eyes. Daniel reached out to gently brushing his fingers over Max’s cheekbone, the Aussie protectively pushing close to the Dutchman, urging him to speak. Max eventually let out a soft, happy noise. nodding slowly.

“I would love to be part of the Pack.” he exhaled shakily. Kevin grinned and leaned in to carefully nuzzle Max’s cheek, tilting his head so the younger man could return the gesture a bit clumsily.

Kimi leaned in, pressing a kiss to the Omega’s forehead while Daniel and some of the others rumbled happily at him. 

“Welcome home, Max.”

That night, Max slept in the Pack room, on a matrass in the main living room with his Pack surrounding him. Carlos slept to his left, the Beta snoring softly as he kept ahold of Max’s hand. Daniel was to his right, curling toward him but not touching him until Max slowly shuffled closer, resting his head on Daniel’s folded arm. 

Kimi was settled on the sofa, overlooking the Pack, Sebastian and Lewis were on the sofa, both fast asleep, but the Pack Alpha was still awake. He noticed Max looking up at him and gave him a small smile, letting out a soft rumble. Max returned a soft cooing sound, before hiding his face in his pillow.

He was sure he and Kimi would still clash, it almost felt inevitable, but at least there was understanding between them now.

Max couldn’t ask for anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: bwoahtastic  
> Comments and kuddos are very much appreciated <3


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